Random
I believe that we humans are selfish and rightly so as long as we are not physically or even otherwise harming or hurting anyone. In my opinion there is no such thing as a selfless act but I find it ironic how we actually end up taking help from others in order to live for ourselves.
My intention is not to make a cynical statement, it is just a nagging thought that I decided to mention here, I don't know why.
My intention is not to make a cynical statement, it is just a nagging thought that I decided to mention here, I don't know why.
posted by Rachana at 12:01 am
7 Comments:
This has everything to do with nurturing, which is a biological principle that you will experience.
It takes time, effort and energy to learn how to take care of yourself, and this is natural because you are born weak.
You may never be completely capable of surviving without others...and that's okay, because you're a social animal and you rely naturally on other people.
Just consider cutting your own meat, baking your own bread, building your own house, and making your own drawings ;)
We will always depend on each other, not only because we must, but also because we can. That will just have to be enough.
I can understand if we rely on other people for something like building a house or cutting meat, I wouldn't consider that as seeking help in the literal sense of the word because most likely my intention would be to pay for these services. It should be a direct deal on a professional level with no favors done.
Yes, humans are social animals to the extent that even an anti social I believe would need and depend on others to fulfill his or her desires.
I guess what I was trying to express in the post is when we seek help from others more on an emotional and personal level. Why do we depend on others for our emotional well being and sometimes only to appease our self esteem? Is this also a form of survival?
Absolutely, and again, it has everything to do with being a social animal, working along with the biological principles installed in the organism (me, you, etc).
Since we have to actually procreate with other organisms and make sure that our young ones grow up favourably in order for our species to survive, it serves our purpose to interact well with the group. Which means that at least a part of you is always working towards a more acceptable (and more dominant) place within the group dynamic.
That's what we call emotional justification and the indulgence of self-esteem.
Aside from that, it's not unusual for people to not know all the answers. But others might have some keys, so if you are in trouble pertaining to your emotional wellbeing, then it might be possible that somebody else knows how to help you out.
Well, how do I find that somebody? :)
I wonder, the reason why depending on others for emotional wellbeing is a turmoil for some individuals (I would include myself in this) is because for them connecting with other human beings is more of a 'need' than a 'want'.
I think there is an important difference out here. For some individuals socializing is more of a compulsion a need probably due to the biological principle you mentioned earlier. But for others apart from the biological principle there is a want as well (the extraverts).
Maybe if the need is converted into a want then the dependence would become more acceptable.
Easier said than done :)
"Easier said than done"
Perhaps it would be a good idea to start with figuring out why exactly you don't want to.
If it's a need, then something drives you to do it. Your job, if the turmoil you describe is indeed strong enough, is figuring out what causes this turmoil. Once you have that in clear sight you can start to work on it if you so desire.
You'll never get rid of that mentioned turmoil without understanding it.
For me personally it's all about balance. If I'm in a good mood I can handle being around people for some time and do surround myself with others. At others times when I'm in my working mood or something else that detaches me from people, I design my days in such a fashion that human contact is kept to a minimum.
In my case I've learned to regulate that contact so that it suits me, not just giving in to what the people around me want. I imagine I have insulted quite a few people along the way with my method but those people will invariably be people that will cause me unhappiness in the long run (because I always tend to do whatever I want, when I want it, etc)
There could be lot of reasons for the turmoil but the most important of them all is distrust.
Some months ago I happen to read an article, I think it was some sort of a psychometric test on personality disorders. I have kept the article and will probably mail it to you for further assistance that I feel I need and I know you could be of some help, if it is not too much of a hassle.
I agree, balance is always good, this way you can get a taste of both the worlds, and I think it's great if you have been successful in keeping it because it isn't easy.
Sure, send over the article and I'll take a look at it :)
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